If you follow me, you will only get lost.

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki encounter a couple of Vampires»

“Thor, put some clothes on.”

“I have clothes on.”

“No, you have a cloth on. In fact, that is not even a cloth. That is spandex. What is your damage, Thor? Put clothes on.”

“This is my costume!”

Loki’s eyebrow slowly arched as he surveyed Thor, head to toe, twice. Then The Look slid into place. The Look was Loki’s weaponized expression whenever Thor’s antics got to be just too much. In the year and change since Thor had met Loki, the look had made fewer appearances, the amount of Thor related shenanigans he could put up with growing. But the appearance of The Look meant that Thor had truly managed it.

“Thor. You are wearing a pair of gold lamé booty shorts.” Loki was using The Voice, too. The patient voice that one uses to tell a seven year old that they just did something incredibly stupid.

“It’s my costume! I’m Rocky!”

“Thor. It is noon. The party is at nine o’clock. You are not lounging about in that for nine hours.”

“I could take them off…”

Loki rolled his eyes and retreated back behind his makeshift milk crate desk to tap away at his laptop and put forth a dedicated effort into ignoring Thor. Pouting, Thor shimmied out of the shorts and shrugged his jeans back on.

The party was being hosted by some friends, the twins Arte and Pol, and as Halloween was upon them, it was a costume party. Thor did, in fact, end up going as Rocky. But if you asked him, his costume wasn’t as sensational as Loki’s. No, Loki pushed his hair back and acquired a headpiece of giant golden horns, had done up his face in make up. He also managed to come into a set of breasts somehow, and they looked great underneath a skin tight green snakeskin dress that slit obscenely high on his creamy thigh. Normally quite tall, Loki was taller still in 5 inch strappy heels, and finished the whole look off with an array of gold bangles and a fur cloak.

So authentic was this Lady Loki that a two other party goers, twentysomething guys in peacoats with hair in bouffants, amber contacts and covered in a dusting of glitter, deigned to come on to ‘her’ despiter ‘her’ clear disinterest. So obnoxious were the guys that they eventually landed on their ass on the curb courtesy of Lady Loki and Rocky, with only the parting call of “YOU AREN’T VAMPIRES, YOU’RE DOUCHEBAGS.”

Lady Loki showed ‘her’ appreciation to Rocky in the spare bedroom of the Solas’ house, using a well perfected technique, and not even smearing ‘her’ lipstick.  

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki in a Situation Where Thor gives Instruction, but Loki’s got the Determination»

Loki had known going into the relationship, or whatever they were calling it, that he was the less experienced party. He had a romantic history comprising entirely of one person who he kissed twice. Thor, on the other hand, had a pretty extensive history. His high school years had seen a handful of more long term girlfriends, with a sizable smattering of casual encounters between those relationships. And never, he stressed, during them. He wasn’t that kind of guy.

It started with just kissing, Loki perched on Thor’s cross legged lap, not quite sure where to hold his weight, and Thor had smiled, and laid hands on his hips and moved him so that they fit together just so. They were on Thor’s tiny dorm bed, with Thor’s shoulders against the wall, leaned back, so there was room for Loki to tentatively loop his legs around behind Thor’s back.

Thor’s hands inched up Loki’s olive printed tee up a bit, his hands gentle on Loki’s sides, but firm. Loki sighed happily into the kiss, enjoying the contact. His long fingers, divested of their numerous silver rings, were tangled in the hair at the nape of Thor’s neck, stroking lightly, and Thor entertained brief flashes of thought of what it would feel like with Loki’s fingers pulling his hair while he went down on him. He grinned, and shifted his hips a bit, and all at once it was like a livewire, like a current snapping together, the growing hardness in his pants brushing against Loki’s, and he gasped softly.

The kiss, what had started out as just soft fun, was turning more insistent, more demanding. Thor nipped at Loki’s lip, and Loki’s fingers tightened in his hair, and he squirmed closer. Thor’s warm hands moved a bit, so that he could rub small circles on Loki’s hips with his thumbs. Loki made a pleased sound, and pressed down, towards the hands, hips coming into beautiful tandem with Thor’s hips. Loki tugged at the hem of Thor’s shirt shyly, self conscious, but Thor grinned and broke the kiss for a moment to grab the neck of the shirt and pull it off in one clean manoeuvre.

Loki leaned back a second to survey his chest, clearly not for the first time, but still just as impressed. He smoothed his hands down the taut surface, and Thor inhaled, breath stuttering in soft approval. Loki leaned forward again, pressing a tentative kiss to Thor’s jaw, then another one just below his ear. When Thor’s hands tightened a bit, and he hummed his approval, Loki kept on, laying light kisses on the side of Thor’s neck.

“Mark me,” Thor breathed, and when Loki pulled back to look at him, he tapped the juncture of where his neck met his shoulder. “Right here. Please.”

Loki’s pink tongue darted out to wet his lips, teeth digging into the bottom one for a moment. He leaned forward, bracing his hands on the wall, and kissed the spot that Thor indicated, gently at first, and then sucking on it lightly, then adding more pressure. Thor squirmed beneath him, breathing out hard. Finally, Loki pulled back to survey his work, a dark bruise forming on Thor’s shoulder. He gently kissed it, and continued kissing towards his clavicle, nipping once or twice just for Thor’s reaction. Shyly, Loki moved one hand and reached down in the slight space between them to rake fingers gently across the bulge in Thor’s jeans.

“Ohh…” There was a dull thunk as Thor’s head hit the wall behind him.

Pleased by the response, Loki increased the pressure a bit, then moved his hand simply to grind down, moaning breathily into Thor’s chest. Before Thor could do much though, Loki had backed off a bit, back on his exploration of kisses. He shifted back a bit so he could kiss lower, closer to Thor’s nipple now, and Thor shifted to straighten his legs out, jostling Loki a bit. Once re-situated, Loki continued until he reached Thor’s navel. He paused, and pulled back to look up at Thor, both of them a little breathless. Loki blinked, desperately wishing for Thor to develop the ability to read minds, or at least to know what Loki wasn’t sure how to say.

“Loki,” he started, “you don’t have to.”

“No, I…” Loki flushed, his pale cheeks colouring pink. “I want to. I just…I haven’t…” he bit his lip. “I don’t know how.”

“Oh. I can, um, I can talk you through it?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Thor removed his hands from Loki’s hips, and moved them down to unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper. Loki scooted back a bit further as Thor spread his legs for Loki to settle between them. Thor then pushed his pants down a bit, and his boxers followed suit, freeing his cock. Loki licked his lips in a slightly nervous gesture, reaching out to stroke gently down the length of it, eliciting a pleased groan from Thor. He wrapped his hand around the length, getting a feel for the size and weight of it, unsure of whether or not he could do it. Thor thrust up into his hand, and Loki watched his eyes slide shut, his head tipped back, the rise and fall of his golden-toned chest. He started to kiss his way back down Thor’s chest, a little hastier than before.

“Ahh, yeah. Okay, just start by licking it, it um.” Thor let out a breath like a laugh, too thoughtless to be offensive. “Goes easier when it’s wet.”

Loki shimmied down some more and bent forward, tongue darting out to lick the tip. He adjusted his angle a bit, and then swiped the flat of his tongue over the head again, a little firmer, a little more sure. He licked a stripe from mid-shaft to the top, and Thor made a sound. Loki looked up to see a set of impossibly blue eyes on him, and he blushed.

“Just like that.” Thor murmured, hand moving forward to brush some of Loki’s hair behind his ear.

Loki went back to the task, licking at Thor’s cock until it was wet from base to tip, and he felt minute trembles in Thor’s legs. He didn’t find the taste of it disagreeable thus far, the scent so entirely Thor, something deep and heavy, maybe a little alcoholic if he had to guess.

“Now just…suck on the head.” Thor was breathless, hands pressed on his own hips, as though he was holding himself down, and it occurred to Loki later that he probably was.

Nodding, Loki did just that, taking the head into his mouth, took a moment to feel the heft of it on his tongue. He ran his tongue along the ridge, and Thor moaned softly. Figures that Thor, so noisy in every other aspect of his life, would be so vocal here and now. Loki began to twirl his tongue around the head as he would with a sucker, and then hollowed his cheeks, sucking gently. One of Thor’s hands moved and his fingers twined in Loki’s hair, holding on a bit firmly, but not pushing or pulling, and Loki enjoyed the feel of it there. He began sucking with a little more enthusiasm, and Thor shuddered, making breathy sounds.

“O-k-k-ay. Now take a bit more. Just as much as you want.”

Loki descended a bit, adjusting his angle a little and looking up again to lock eyes while he took a little bit more of the thick arousal in his mouth. He repeated the earlier manoeuvre of swirling his tongue around, and Thor moaned a little louder, head thinking against the wall again. Loki wrapped three fingers around the base, rubbing up and down a bit, his other hand holding on to Thor’s thigh of leverage.

“Oh gods, Loki, yeah.” Thor’s eyes slid shut for a moment before he struggled to reopen them. “You can, ahhhh, bob your head.”

Tightening his hold on Thor’s thigh for leverage, he did as told, bobbing his head, and sucking. He was beginning to get out of breath, breathing hard through his nose on alternate dips down. He was pumping his hand counter to the motions of his head, and twisting a bit as he enjoyed when he got himself off. Thor’s legs were trembling, and between Loki’s hand on his thigh and his own hand on his hip, was managing not to thrust up into Loki’s hot mouth.

Loki sped up his ministrations as he gained confidence, once the rhythm was down it was easy. Thor’s hand tightened in his hair, and he made a soft hum at the back of his throat that dragged a groan from deep in Thor’s throat.

“Ohhhh, Loki, Loki.” Thor’s eyes were glazing over, darkening and dilated as he felt his orgasm coming on. “I’m gonna…oh god, I’m gonna come.”

Loki increased his efforts, determined to get Thor to completion swiftly. The hand in his hair was tugging gently, trying to pull him off, but Loki was having none of that. He was going to do this properly. He moved his hand from where it gripped Thor’s thigh and scratched silver painted nails down Thor’s hips. Thor moaned with the approximate volume of a foghorn and came, surprising Loki a bit, but he swallowed as much as he could. A few drops dropped down his chin, and he pulled off and wiped them off with a tissue from beside the bed. Thor was a panting, sweaty mess, shaking slightly, watching Loki through half lidded eyes. Loki balanced between his legs, starting to feel a little anxious, suddenly unsure if he had done well or not. And then Thor spoke.

“Loki, are you sure you’ve never done that before?”

Loki laughed, and started as Thor grabbed his shirt and hauled him forward to kiss him, either disregarding or even enjoying the taste of himself on Loki’s tongue. Loki was breathless, and Thor was unzipping his hoodie and pushing it off, and then he worked at the fly of Loki’s tight jeans. He pulled back for a breath, a gleam in his eye.

“My turn.”

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki in the January Incident»

Early January, Loki forgets his jacket at the dorm and manages to get locked outside the building, the unfortunate victim of a prank by some sophomores. It’s late, and there are no lights in the rooms on the bottom floor, or he’d consider knocking on one of them for help. He ends up locked out for nearly an hour, shivering in his thin hoodie, waiting for someone to come downstairs to the dorm lobby. When they finally do, he is shaking, and his hands are very closely frozen into fists where he had them jammed in his underarms. He stiff-legs up to the dorm, and taps a boot against it until Thor opens the door.

“Good god, Loki, what happened!?” Thor says, pulling him into the room and rubbing his hands down Loki’s arms to warm him.

Loki’s teeth are chattering too hard for him to respond, as Thor pulls him into their tiny shared bathroom, and turns the water on lukewarm. He pulls Loki’s backpack off, and peels off his hoodie, then pulls Loki under the spray, joining him. He has one strong arm wrapped around Loki’s waist, holding him between his muscled chest and the tiled wall. Loki is shaking from the cold, and Thor slowly turns the heat up as Loki begins to thaw and sag against him. The tiny walls are spinning, though he knows that he is stationary, vertigo claiming him.

His mind weekly rebels against the treatment, uncomfortable for various reasons with being so close to Thor, soaking wet and plastered against him. A flush entirely unrelated to the sudden warmth creeps up his neck and shoulders, and he drops his forehead to press into Thor’s shoulder, hiding his face and feeling as though his head weighs a hundred pounds.

When Thor is convinced that Loki’s blood is coursing properly, he wraps him up in all of their towels, and brings him some clothes. He helps pull off Loki’s shoes and socks, but gives Loki his privacy as he switches into big pyjama pants and a sweater. Thor changes into dry clothes as well, towelling his hair with a face cloth and pushing it back with his fingers. He gets Loki tucked into a bed, heaps his own blankets on, and turns up their crappy dorm thermostat.

Loki gets sick, of course, but he manages to avoid hypothermia by some miracle. He spends the next week completely bed ridden, with Thor waiting on him whenever he can. The older boy stops by between his classes to make sure Loki has warm food, a constant supply of tea, and goes out to buy him medicine. Thor cooks massive batches of soup on their illegal hotplate, leaves plates of saltines and ginger ale at his side. He moves the mini fridge to the side of Loki’s bed so he can pull out bottles of water when he needs to.

Loki isn’t prone to poetic thought about others, but he’ll admit that Thor didn’t just thaw out his body that night. His actions thawed out Loki’s heart a little, and their tentative friendship truly bloomed after that.  

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki become Theatre Buffs»

In the spring of their first year in Ottawa, Thor is working a job in private security for a company called Hammer Industries that pays well enough that Loki can quit his terrible server job that takes away from his sleep and his studies. The free time eats at him at first, and he sleeps a lot of it away. And then, with his courses lightening, he has even more time. He looks at part time jobs again, but Thor will have none of it.

So one day while out and about, Loki finds a casting call for a local small theatre, and decides to go. They need actors who are staying in the city, as many were students who graduated and left. So he goes and auditions with a monologue from Antony and Cleopatra and blows it away, and does a scene with a few others from Oz, and he sings Zero-Sum and the panel of mid to late-twenty somethings, men and women alike, swoon and he’s in.

The first show they do is a production of RENT and he plays Roger. It isn’t terrific, most of the cast isn’t that interested in what they call an “over-hyped pop culture nightmare”, but Loki is praised for his dedication to the role and his acting ability. No one believes him that he’s never acted before. Thor can’t make it to any of the showings because of work, and is very upset over it. He goes out of his way to make it up to Loki by buying him all kinds of play books.

The next production is a one man show in five acts that was written by a local author. Loki is the understudy for the theatres lead actor. But the night before the show, the lead drives home intoxicated and gets into an accident. He breaks his wrist, and is facing serious legal ramifications, so the woman who runs the theatre lets him go, and Loki is up. Thor gets out of work and comes to watch.

The first act is about a man standing at a crossroads. There are three paths before him, one with a beautiful woman, one with a beautiful man, and one with a hooded figure. In the second act, he describes what his life would be if he had followed the road with the woman. He speaks of a tepid courtship, an unhappy marriage, infidelity on both parties part, and eventually suicide. The third act is his life if he followed the road with the man. He speaks of a burning passion and hopeful future cut short by tragedy when the beautiful man is taken away by murder, and ends in suicide. In the fourth act, he describes what his life would be if he had followed the path with the hooded figure. The hooded figure is loneliness, and his life, while successful and lucrative, is empty, and ends in suicide. In the final act, he addresses the audience directly, having been telling his story to an unseen second person. He tells the audience that all of these lives are true, and none of them are true. The lesson is in the journey, and not the end, and no matter what path is taken, there will always be unhappiness.

When Loki meets Thor outside the theatre, Thor’s eyes are red. Loki asks what’s wrong, and Thor says nothing. He takes Loki’s hand and they walk home, and Thor makes noisy love to Loki on their foam pallet. The morning paper has a review of the performance, lauding Loki as a contriver of beautiful fraud, and calling him one of the best small time actors in the city. 

Run on sentences are sentences, too. 

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki in the Birthday Compromise» 

Thor turns 19 in March, and while it’s not exactly a milestone, he and his friends mark it like one. Sif’s housemates are gone for the weekend on a trip to Vegas, and the house is turned into party central. It’s small, and narrow, three floors with an open living room that connects to a crappy student kitchen. The table is covered in various alcohols, and there is beer in the fridge. The upstairs is a narrow hallway with a tiny bathroom and three bedrooms and a rickety metal staircase to the attic that serves as a fourth bedroom.

There is an insane amount of people jammed into the house. Thor is a social and popular guy. His inner circle, composed of Sif, Volstagg, Fandral and Hogun are there, as well as a handful of guys from his course, and friends of Sif and Fandral, and some of their friends, and Loki. Loki would be the odd one out. He’s wandering from room to room awkwardly, a rum and coke in his hand, barely touched.

He gave Thor his present earlier, a braided hemp necklace with red glass beads and silver threads interwoven. He hadn’t had the money to get him anything, so he figured making something was the next best option. He had left the present on Thor’s pillow and had gone to class, so he hadn’t seen the reception to it. The last he saw Thor, he was tossing back beers and Loki couldn’t see the necklace. He had been with friends though, so Loki moved on.

It was a bitter edge, Loki thought as he sat on a bed in one of the empty bedrooms, to be happy for someone but desire them to only be happy with you. He isn’t familiar with such possessive thoughts, especially with Thor, who by his very nature was a social creature.

“Hey.”

Loki looks up suddenly, and Thor is at the door, coming in and closing it behind him. He looks a little tipsy, but not overly so, and for that Loki is kind of glad. Thor is silly when he’s drunk, and Loki doesn’t think he can handle silly right now.

“I missed you this morning.” Thor continues, walking into the room until he’s in front of Loki.

“I had class.” Loki says, head tipping up to keep eye contact with Thor. “Sorry I couldn’t get you anything…”

Thor wordlessly pulls his sleeve up. He’s taken the necklace and looped it three times around his wrist and tied it off. He smiles at Loki, and leans down to kiss him. Thor tastes like fruity liquor and breath mints, and Loki wonders when he switched off beer, and if he did it knowing that Loki can’t stand beer breath. Thor nudged in between Loki’s legs and lowers to his knees in front of him so it’s Loki leaning down.

“I love it, Loki. But there’s something else you could give me?” Thor ventures the second part tentatively, breathless from the kiss.

“What?”

Thor leans forward and kisses Loki’s thigh, and looks up at him, and Loki exhales sharply.

And that is the story of how Sif found Thor giving Loki a blowjob in her housemates bed, a story that jumped straight to the top of the list for Most Compromising Situation Walked In On for the next two months.

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki in the Candy Incident»

“Thor, this is ridiculous. You are ridiculous. Why do I even know you.” Loki wasn’t even looking at him, deadpanning from his bed where he was painting his nails a lovely forest green. Cross legged, perfectly still, he was balancing the little bottles on his knees.

“Don’t be a spoil sport.” Thor grins, mouth full of gummies. “Want some?”

“No. No I do not. I can practically hear you getting diabetes from here. Stop it.” Loki’s tone held a clear warning.

Thor was lying on his back on his bed across the small dorm room. His legs were stretched out and up the wall, feet resting on the gap between a Star Trek poster boasting some Australian actor and a poster of a scantily clad tattooed woman. He had been tossing little candy up in the air and catching it with his mouth, but he was now aiming a candy towards Loki’s leg.

“Thor, if you throw that candy at me, you will feel pain that you have never known in your short life.” Loki warned, dipping a small detailing brush into a narrow bottle of gold glitter polish that was tucked into the crook of his knee.

“Aww come on. You’re stinking up the room with that…nail polish.” Thor said, voice coming dangerously close to whining. He then proceeded to throw a Swedish Berry at Loki, though his aim was off and it bounced off his stomach.

“Deal with it, open a window. If you get polish on my pants, please remember that I know where and when you sleep.”

“And you are invited to join me aaaany time you’d like!” Thor’s voice was cheeky, and he paused to chew on a Twizzler before tossing more candy at Loki, hitting him in the chest with two and missing completely with the third.

“Thor, you are the culmination of several billion years of evolution. Act like it.” Loki blew on his nails, then started painting the other hand carefully.

“You,” a candy hit Loki in the shoulder, “are,” one hit him in the chest, “no fun.” the third hit him in the crotch. “And nail polish is for girls.”

Loki looked up then, blue-green eyes absolutely venomous. “Thor, desist immediately or you will eat those words.”

“Whatever you say, Lady Loki.” Thor grinned, and tossed up another candy and caught it between his teeth.

Loki leaned over and pulled his iPod over to himself, shoving the ear buds into his ears and resolutely ignoring Thor and his bags of Bulk Barn candy.

“Thought so.” Thor said smugly, crossing one leg over the other across the wall.

Perhaps it was that he stayed up so late, or maybe he was naturally too sound a sleeper. And maybe it was because he had been so tired the next morning that he didn’t notice right away. But he sure noticed when his combat instructor asked why, exactly, Thor had hot pink fingernails.  

«Thor Brodinson and Hipster Loki Are Sinners And Are Very Comfortable With That»

Like most schools, theirs was host to it’s own various clubs and group, popping up about the place like bacteria cultures. They group together with common interests, like the Holmes Appreciation Club and the Allies club and the World War II re-enactment club. And then there is the CSAG. Christian Students Against Gays. The club is largely run by a group of white, upper middle class girls from respectable towns, and followed by their beefy Jock boyfriends. They hold protests outside of the dorms of known gay students and hand out fliers denouncing the sin of homosexuality. The other Christian student group, the Christians For Equality will have nothing to do with them, and most students agree that these girls are a little radical.

Most people avoid them when at at all possible. The younger students, fresh from high school politics, knew which aggressive opinion-pushers to avoid and the older students are all well aware that tangling with the CSAG usually means life was hell for a few weeks. They could, on occasion, be labelled as the bane of Loki’s existence.

In the spring, Loki and Thor are still sorting out what exactly they have. It’s something a little more complicated than friendship, coloured with something that Loki has never really experienced and something Thor can name on sight. But Loki needs to go slow, and Thor is entirely willing to give him that. So sometimes they kiss, and sometimes they hold each other at night, and they haven’t done anything else yet but it’s a near thing.

Loki had a boyfriend in high school, though the term is used loosely. They were two intellectuals who spent time together and read in silence and worked together on homework and they kissed twice and Loki didn’t like it much. Thor had a long string of girlfriends and sexual partners and though he was never unkind to any of them, he never really had a connection worth keeping. So they are both new to this, and Loki doesn’t want to move fast into territory that he’s not familiar with and Thor rolls the word “boyfriend” around on his tongue sometimes and tries to connect it to “Loki”. Loki is private by nature and would rather not go about in public holding hands and acting like a couple. Thor wants the whole world to know that he has a fledgling love for Loki, and that he is off-limits. They don’t argue about it because they don’t talk about it. It’s an unspoken stalemate.

Enter the CSAG. Because of his effeminate frame, his soft-spoken voice, his penchant for painting his nails and his girly hair, the CSAG targets him as one of The Gays and has embarked on a mission to Show Him The Light. Loki is less than pleased. His student email is inundated with Bible passages and pastor quotes telling him the evils of homosexuality and telling him that it’s not too late to repent. He deletes them. They follow him from class to class, and he remains quiet, his hair covering his ear buds. He is nothing if not a paragon of self-restraint.

And then they start to follow Thor around. The girls without boyfriends try to tell him not to give in to to Loki’s evil seduction, and try to ask him out. He’s baffled at first, has no idea how to politely tell them to stop, smiling blandly through their advances. One afternoon they have Thor cornered in the Quad, and Loki, passing by on his way to lunch, stops to see what is going on. They are loudly proclaiming homosexuality a sin for the umpteenth time and Thor is beginning to look upset. There are students milling around watching, but saying nothing.

Loki has had enough. He strides forward, pushes through the crowd, Thor smiles when he sees him and Loki feels a blossom of warmth in his belly at that, he drops his bag, grabs on to Thor’s shoulders and hops clean up. His long legs wrap around Thor’s waist, and Thor’s hands come up to hold the rest of his weight, and Loki kisses him soundly, in front of God, the CSAG, about three hundred students and he has not a fuck to give for it. The kiss goes on a long time, and when he pulls bad, Thor looks dazed and happy, face breaking out into an infectious smile. The CSAG is silent as a handful of students cheer and clap. The harassment doesn’t necessarily stop, but at least they’ve got each other.